When we purchased the home last November it had been completely renovated, everything seemingly new and fixed. "Great!" I thought. With a newborn daughter and trying to move into the house at the same time there was not time for fixing anything. Well little did I know that in a span of months that would all start changing. Being new to Texas I had no experience with humidity's impact on door frames, the re-leveling of a repaired foundation, and all of the overgrowth of a previously unmaintained backyard.
Last month I was able to fix one door in our house so it will now close. It creaks, but hey, at least it closes now. There are two other interior doors that won't close and a super wonky exterior one goes to our back deck that is so crooked it's unusable from the door and frame not matching up, not to mention the gap between it and the weather stripping. The two interior doors I think I have ideas on, but the exterior is way out of my skill level. So I have to plan, prepare and for the time being, wait.
I was excited to shape the backyard into what we were hoping it could be; a place to spend outside enjoying meals and playing. Currently it is an overgrowth of grass, trees and vines. Two weeks ago while working back there I came inside and noticed some bumps on my arm. I figured mosquito bites or something of the like and didn't pay them much attention. That was into they got bigger, itched a whole lot more, puffed up, and began to spread. I was at my wits end of what was going on and ended up caving and going to the doctor. I say caving because to be honest I'm not a fan of doctors, clinics, pills, and the whole situation. After the first visit I was given some topical creams and told to apply them and wait.
So I applied and waited, but still nothing improved, so I went back to the doctor seeking answers. The doctor had an idea of what was going on but really was as confused as I was as to why things weren't changing. So with the advice of a colleague gave me prescriptions for three pills and gave me a steroid shot. So I took these pills on their appropriate schedule, adjusting meal times around them to fulfill their empty or full stomach requirements and waited.
Do you see a theme here? Waiting. O how I hate waiting! It is torture to me. My anxiety ramps up and I get restless and sometimes physically ill for multiple days. Yet what God calls us to is to wait. Wait for His timing, wait for Him to move, wait so He gets all the glory. My fallen soul wants to be selfish and hoard it all for myself.
I have viewed my home as my castle, my own personal city so to speak where I am comfortable, familiar, and in a safe place. In the beginning of the Old Testament book of Nehemiah as Nehemiah is returning to Jerusalem the walls, the defenses and protection of the city, have been destroyed during the nation of Israel's exile. I see all of the problems of my home as cracks in the walls and defenses of what I envisions for my home. Nehemiah doesn't get right to fixing the broken walls and fortifying the city. He "sat down and wept and mourned for days, and continued fasting and praying (Neh 1:4). Nehemiah pleads before God and intercedes on the city's behalf, confessing not only his sin but also the nation's sin begging for restoration.
Taking care of a home isn't bad, wanting to provide for your family isn't bad, and setting up a sufficient and safe place for your family is not bad. These are all great things that God calls us to do, but to what expense? Are you putting these things before your daily development with your relationship with God? Where can you ease a bit to give God what He deserves?
For me, it's when I get up with my daughter in the morning so my wife can get some more sleep. After changing a diaper, playing a little, and feeding her a bottle to put her back down for a nap I have me time. I do whatever I want or feel is needed until someone wakes up next. This is when my God time should be. Not my only time in the day to connect and commune with Him, but a dedicated time to grow and grow closer to the Almighty. So before I start on chores or my next project I have time with God, Him going before me in my day and the adventures that unfold, bathed in prayer, confession, and His unbending grace.
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